My youngest sister Cassie turned 10 this month. That’s right, there are NO Christensens left in the single digits! (Actually, I’m sure there are, but none in OUR immediate family. Christensen is a pretty common last name after all.) Alisha came all the way from Utah to be Cassie’s birthday surprise. Kind of fitting, seeing that Cassie is Alisha’s 2.0. (Yes, Cassie, when you look at Alisha you can see yourself in 12 years. Count your blessings.) It was so much fun to see Alisha, and then she left. Meanie. We are still working on that list of reasons why she should move out here. If anyone wants to add to it, PLEASE do. We can use all the help we can get. If you’re looking to add to a list of reasons why she shouldn’t move, please keep those comments to yourself. No one wants to hear them.

While you think of reasons for Alisha to move, I’m giving you a few more… Alisha, please pay attention.

• Dad built you a boat. Yes, I’m sure it was all for you, even if he’s been out fishing in it every day with the 2.0s. It would be rude if you didn’t use it at least weekly, and how are you going to do that living in Utah? The boat is obligated to stay on the family pond – it sinks otherwise, I’m sure. Especially if it’s in Utah.
• Yogurt! is more fun to play in Missouri. For all of you people out-of-the-know, Yogurt! is a weird game Alisha taught us when she was out here. You know the game “Slug Bug”? Yogurt! is kind of like that, except you don’t hit people. You just call out “Yogurt!” when you see a yellow car. Infinitely more fun than Slug Bug. (Or maybe I just think that because I’m better at Yogurt! than Slug Bug.)
• You can play the guitar in my postcard ANYTIME you want to. I know, I’m so generous.
• KC has the coolest old houses.
• UCM has your program. At least close to your program. So you could finish studying close to me.
• I will make you cupcakes on your (real) birthday. AND on your fake birthday. But I won’t make them so often that you get fat.
• And finally…. I love you! We all love you! All of us now-double-digit Christensens LOVE you! And we miss you already. So come home soon.

We were hanging out this week when Sam hit her head on an open kitchen cabinet door. Ever the optimist, she said “Well, at least I’m tall enough to hit my head!” Talk about a silver lining. That’s my 2.0. And I love her.

You might wonder why the smiley face is in honor of Cassie. It could be because she’s so pleasant. Or because we all smile when we’re around her. Or because we thought she looked like red ketchup on a bun. Take your pick. If you really want to know what it’s for though, I’ll tell you. A few months ago, I took the kids to Ma & Pa’s (Dad’s favorite down home diner). Cassie got a burger. And when it came time for the ketchup, she Very. Carefully. Drew a smiley face.

Mom and I went today – and in honor of Cassandra, there you have it. One happy little cheeseburger.

Reece summed up our collective feelings on man night the next morning when we were cleaning up the carnage. ”I heart man night.”

Me too, Reece. Me too.

First, I think I’ve never met a 13 year old boy who’s cool enough to want his old lady sister to come help out on any field trip. Second, I’ve never met a 13 year old boy who’s cool enough to hang out with his 5th grade sister AT the same field trip. AND skate with BOTH OF THEM out on the roller skating rink. In FRONT of all his friends.

Those seventh grade girls TOTALLY swooned over him. And why not? Any smart girl knows that a man will treat his wife the same way he treats his mom and his sisters. (Well, there will be a few key differences, but don’t make me go into those here. Please.) Wade’s definitely got a few things figured out. I love him. TONS. Trust me, everyone should have a Romeo in their life. Or at least a brother like Wade.

My MOM is the baddest bad apple in our house. Since she wasn’t born a Christensen, I can still claim to be the baddest bad apple of the Christensen family. (Like that argument? It’s a little flimsy for a lawyer, but I’ll argue it anyway.) We all love her. You want reasons? We’ve got them. And much like the Alisha post, this is from everyone.

• She dances in the kitchen.
• And in the living room.
• And in her studio.
• And anywhere else. What can we say? She’s got rhythm, and when she hears a good song, she can’t help but move. It’s a trait she passed on. Everyone dances at our house. Except Dad. Obviously, he was not so lucky to have Mom pass on that gene to him. It just doesn’t work that way.
• She’s fun to sit on.  In fact, this is Reece’s favorite thing to do. I’m not positive that it’s Mom’s favorite thing, but she humors him. She even tells him he’s her favorite child. That is, of course, a lie. *I* am her favorite child.
• She’s a rockstar. Especially after she gets her hair done. And yes, she can totally do the headbanging moves. If you’ve ever seen Alisha or Cassie, this is also a genetic trait.
• She let us have cake on Sunday for breakfast when I was growing up. You know, so we’d look forward to Sundays. Since we couldn’t play outside or do other weekday sort of things, it was definitely a bonus. Sometimes we’d have ice cream instead of cake. And sometimes we’d have both. (And sometimes we still do that sort of thing. We love Sundays at our house.)
• She’s an excellent painter. And she’s used us for models for a lot of her paintings. Except for Logan and Reece, who are not quite as beautiful as the rest of us. Or they just won’t hold still long enough. You be the judge.
• She’ll stay up all night talking to us. Or she’ll stay up all night working on a project. She’s a night owl. I definitely did NOT get that gene. Samantha and Reece, on the other hand, definitely got it. Jealous.
• She loves our Dad. Like crazy. We know, who wouldn’t?

You can see, there are all sorts of reasons that she’s the baddest bad apple. We could keep going, but we’d be at it all day. And since it’s Mother’s Day, we’re trying to spend a little bit of it with her. We love her. What more can we say?

• “What are those, pigs?” – Mom, the country girl. Not. We were driving past a field with a lot of GOATS in it when she asked the question. Granted, Mom was driving. But how do you get PIGS confused with GOATS?
• “I see all the cow faces and it reminds me of Barry.” – Jessie (19), the REAL country girl, aka NOT Mom. Jessie works at a dairy (where she sees cow faces) and Barry is her boyfriend. Barry’s on a two-year mission in Fresno, California. Maybe he should be worried if Jessie’s reminded of him when she sees COWS. PS – Barry is not nickname-protected because Jessie has his real name on her own blog. Plus I don’t know what nickname we would use for him. “Jessie’s COWboy” would maybe work, given that she sees cow faces and thinks of him.
• “You are not even CLOSE to a cow.” – Reece (16), the king of compliments. You know him as the Cowboy Casanova, but he can have more than one title. I was trying to figure out how much our cows weighed… when I said 125 (which is what I weigh) he informed me of the above “fact.” Oh – and at the time I said that, our cows weighed probably 300-350 lbs. Maybe 400 lbs.  Maybe I have a misconception about how 125 lbs looks. (And maybe Jessie should take a cue from Reece so that Barry doesn’t cry when he realizes that Jessie thinks of him when she sees cow faces.)
• “When you turn 25, then you’ll be an antique!” – Samantha (11), commenting on my upcoming birthday in August. I wonder what that makes Dad (who hit the big 5-0 last October).  How do you get better- or older-  than “antique”?
• “Dad, when you’re too old to remember, I’m going to sell the house and buy an RV. Then I’m going to take you all sorts of places.” – Cassie (almost 10), when talking about her “assignment” as the youngest child. That assignment? She’s taking care of them in their old age. We all voted, and she got the job. Maybe Dad should rethink that one. Unless he wants to go all sorts of places.

Can you see why I’m always laughing? Oh. Maybe you didn’t realize I’m always laughing. Trust me, it’s hard to stop with a family as fun as mine. I totally love them. And I’ve gotta admit – it’s a real relief to know that I’m nothing close to a cow, even if I’m going to be an antique soon.

Let me lay it out for you – Reece, Wade, and I versus Logan, Jessie and the 2.0s. We had a definite strategy on our team. (Of course, laying it out here might put us at a disadvantage for next time, but I’m pretty sure that they caught onto what we were doing.) Basically, I guarded OUR flag and the boys went after THEIR flag. And we captured their flag three times. It was when we varied from that strategy that we ran into problems. (It could have had something to do with the fact that Jessie wasn’t around for the first two games either, but Logan and the 2.0s should have been able to take us.)

You see, I’m not faster than Logan. Have you seen that man? What was I thinking? Of course, at the same time I was thinking that I could be faster than Logan, Wade also thought he was faster than Jessie. And most of the time Wade is. But somehow Jessie caught him. (Don’t worry Wade, I’m sure it was a fluke.)

Enter Reece’s last stand. Surprisingly enough, he lasted for quite awhile against the four of them while Wade and I watched. Finally I got up and took a few pictures – totally against the rules, but really, what were they going to do about it? He did look a little crazed by the time they were done with him. See his picture above if you don’t believe me. And see the rest of our pictures to see how much fun we all have together. (ALISHA, this is reason number 2491.)

PS – Notice that Sam and I ARE really close to the same height.

I was so nervous about my push up form that I made my brother Logan (who appears in this blog a lot, but he’s family and can’t help it) watch me so that he could give me pointers. Unlike me, Logan does an excellent push up and dad has never laughed at him. At least about push ups. (Are you seeing a pattern with Logan here? Good photographer, good push ups… some people have all the luck.) After informing me (LISTEN Dad) that I was doing an (I quote!) “EXCELLENT” push up, Logan showed me how I could work my chest more by moving my hands closer into my body. Of course, he had to demonstrate so I could see what he was talking about.

My brother looks good when he does a push up. When I told him (someone’s got to let him know – you know, so when a really hot girl walks by he can drop down and start doing push ups so that she’ll pay attention), he looked at me and deliberately. said. “I look good ALL the time.”

T2 managed to surprise me all the way from England when he sent a fruit basket from Edible Arrangements to my office. When it arrived, I was out of the office in court. After I got out of my hearing, I had a message from one of the other lawyers in the office letting me know I’d “found a keeper.” Thankfully, everyone waited for me before digging into it…nice of them, don’t you think? Once I got back, we opened it up to share. And hardly made a dent in it. Even with five people. One of the gals at the office is really hoping that T2 “stays in the UK a LOOONG time so that ‘we’ can continue getting gifts like this.” Personally, I’d prefer he was here, but that’s just me. Since he’s not, I’ll content myself with eating pineapple. It was my VERY. FAVORITE. PART. I think I ate more of that than anyone else. I feel totally justified about it, don’t worry. After all, it WAS addressed to me. Despite the “we’s” and “us’s” that I heard about “our” gift.

After we tried (and failed) to finish it at work, I decided to take the rest of it home to my family. I knew they’d do their part to make sure that it didn’t go bad. They did not let me down. It seems that they all felt T2 sent it specifically for them. (And I’m going to let them think that.) Jessie summed it up best. “I’m glad T2 loves us so much.”