Jun 03

My Dates Would Be A Whole Lot Cheaper

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If I didn’t spend so much time with the same three guys. Yes, three. You recognize them. Or you should. Just call them a girl’s perfect date – they open doors, love the music that plays in my car, make me laugh, and are generally up for anything. The only downside is that I tend to foot the bill. But they tend to do all the heavy lifting that I ever need. Moving twice? They were so there. Carrying loads of files? I never even have to ask. So it evens out. Plus they’re cheap – but not in that skanky sort of way, don’t worry. Cheap, like I can take them to Sonic and they are totally satisfied.

You call them Logan, Reece and Wade. At the house, we call them “Wolverine” (have you seen Logan’s chest? it’s totally like Hugh Jackman’s), “Cowboy Casanova” (cuing Carrie Underwood this instant), and “GQ Romeo” (who should need no explanation, but if you’d like one, look here).

My brothers keep me grounded. In fact, they’ve got their own nickname for me – “Average Sue Leila.” Sounds kind of weird, huh? I mean, I’d heard of an “Average Joe” before, but I’d never heard of an “Average Sue” before they came up with that genius. We were out having burgers or something, when I told them they needed to work on their manners. After all, I’m a classy lady and they were out with me. They took the opportunity to let me know that at that moment, I wasn’t a “big time city slicker lawyer” – I was just a regular “Average Joe” out with my brothers. Then they thought that “Average Joe” didn’t really fit, being that I’m a girl and all, thus “Average Sue” was born. My name was added to prevent any confusion. So if you’re looking for a big-time city slicker lawyer, don’t look for her when she’s out with these boys. You’ll be looking an awful long time.*

*This is, of course, assuming that they are not in trouble themselves, in which case, you will totally find the big-time city slicker lawyer out with them. A girl’s still got to watch out for her family, don’t you think?

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Apr 23

I’m The Baddest Bad Apple

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We’re a tough looking bunch, aren’t we? Well let me tell you – I’m the baddest bad apple of them all. These two rough-and-ready rednecks follow MY lead. Why do you think I’m in the middle? (You might think it was so that I could look extra small – and you might be right – but work with me here.)

My brothers are some pretty bad apples themselves. Flat tire? Logan’s got it changed in five minutes. (This happened about a week ago.) Files to carry in? Reece meets me at the car when I pull in. (This is more of an everyday occurrence.) Ice water needs? Wade’s all over it. (I never even have to ask.) And no, you’re not missing Wade in this picture. He was inside working hard when we were outside (goofing off) working hard. We’ll get him to pose another time, I’m sure. If you can’t tell, the “poser” gene is alive and well in the Christensen family.

It’s so nice to be part of a family that LIKES each other. Reece said it best the other night when we were hanging out making up our own version of Nickelback songs until 11 o’clock at night. “We pretty much won the lottery when we were born. We got OUR family, we were born in America, and we’re members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” I agree. I’ve got everything I need right here. With all my bad apples.

PS – Ask Reece to sing for you sometime… he totally rocked his own version of Nickelback’s “Never Gonna Be Alone.” In all fairness though, you should really have Logan and Reece sing together. One of these days I’m going to record them when they’re not paying attention. Then I’ll blog about it – no reason to keep that all to myself!

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Jan 16

This Whole Country Thing Was Just An Accident

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You’d think that was me talking, right? After all, I didn’t plan to move out to the middle of nowhere where it’s normal to get your eggs from the backyard. Technically, it’s not the backyard – it’s the chicken coop.  But you know how I feel about technical. I was an English major, remember? Maybe I shouldn’t bring that up – maybe then you’ll be expecting some Jane Austen quality work. Forget it. This is a blog.  So back to the post…

This was Reece talking on our way home the other night. (Right before our car started smoking. Yikes. Dad, Reece and Logan fixed it. Manly.) When Reece lived in Utah, he liked country MUSIC. The rest of it – boots, hat, Carhart jacket, chicken coop, cows, guns, pigs, etc. – were not exactly on his radar. I mean, take a look at him. Does THAT picture look like a country boy waiting to happen? I think not.

(Reece is the boy in the picture. The only boy. Duh.)

But check out the afters… and before you ask, YES, it is the same boy. But I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t recognize him. After all, I didn’t! No, I’m not kidding. When I came out to visit after the “transformation” a cowboy came up to me to hug me in the airport. I thought that was rather forward of him. And then I realized it was Reece. Ooops.



The Cowboy Casanova has arrived.

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Jan 11

“Every Moment of Every Day, We’re Manly”

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No, this was not me talking. I’m more of a “four-inch heels and a pencil skirt” kind of gal, if you really must know. And if any of you are wondering – four-inch heels and a pencil are NOT manly. (That tends to be the kind of thing that ATTRACTS a guy who’s manly.*) Take a look at the picture. (See? It’s not me.)

These are my brothers. You’ve been introduced to them before – you saw the Man Boots post, right? (If you didn’t, now would be a good time to read it. It’d save me some time. There’s no way I could write EVERY way my brothers are manly in just one post.) If you’re still drawing a blank on who’s who, let me re-introduce you. From left to right, this is Wade, Logan and Reece. I call this their “Bad A Moment.” And Mom, if you’re reading – I totally mean “Bad Apple Moment.” Because they are definitely the “Bad Apples” of the Christensen family.

Logan is the genius behind the statement “Every moment of every day, we’re manly.” He had this stroke of genius while sitting with Reece and Wade at the dinner table talking about a fight.

So, you’re curious how they can back this bold statement up? Let me give you four examples. (Yes, just four. As much as you might be dying for a novel tonight, I am not dying to write one. Sue me. Really, try it. I’m a lawyer after all.) First, my brothers shoot guns. (See the aforementioned post. Told you you should have read it.) Second, my brothers open doors. (You’ve heard about this too.) Third, my brothers carry in heavy things. Like me. Or sacks of chicken feed. Or groceries. (Yes, I know groceries aren’t normally as heavy as chicken feed, but maybe you didn’t know that. One of those special “living in the country” tidbits. I’ll let you wonder if I’m as heavy as groceries.) Fourth, my brothers fix things. I’ve watched Reece change a tire in the middle of the night on a highway with no shoulder while semis were screaming past at 75mph. Notice I said “watch.” I am not manly. But I’m sure glad my brothers are. Because trust me, I know – every moment of every day, they’re manly.

*Note to all of you. My pencil skirt and heels do NOT have the same effect on my brothers as they do on other manly men. They are on me after all. So don’t be gross.

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