Aug 26

Just Call Me Farmer Leila

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When I was 10, I used to dream of having a pig farm. Really. I read a book on how to raise pigs and my Dad took me to a real live pig farm after I’d read the book five times. Don’t I have the best dad? It’s okay, you can be jealous. He IS the best ever.

Now that I’m a grown up, the dreams have changed a little, but I’ve finally got a pig. Well, sort of. His name is Reece. He’s no relation to my brother – and his name is certainly NOT a fat joke. But my brother Reece has his very own (real) pig farm – of one pig named Cabbage – and I thought it was only fitting that my city pig have a connection to Reece (my brother). Reece has also read the pig farming book. I doubt it will be quite as helpful for my little pig as for his, but I’ve come up with a few of my own suggestions for healthy pig raising in KC. Well, “a few” might be stretching it. I really just have one: Feed Often.

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Aug 01

Just Call Me An Antique

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Wahoo! Today I’m celebrating. Well, actually I’m celebrating all month, because that’s how I roll. I highly recommend that when you have a birthday, you celebrate all month too. I can’t take credit for that brilliant idea. It’s a suggestion I got from a friend of mine a long time ago and it means the month of August totally rocks every year. I’ve officially reached “antique” status. For those of you who don’t speak the language of my 2.0, that means I’m now 25 years old. Don’t fault her for the whole “antique” thing – she’s only 11, so 25 is bound to sound ancient.

There are so many blessings in my life! In honor of turning 25 today, I thought I’d list 25 things that I’m grateful for. Yep, this is going to be a long list. Deal with it – it’s my party, and I’ll write what I want to.

  1. The Gospel of Jesus Christ and my membership in His Church
  2. Mom
  3. Dad
  4. Alisha
  5. Logan
  6. Jessie
  7. Reece
  8. Wade
  9. Sam
  10. Cassie
  11. My law degree from BYU
  12. Running my own law firm
  13. Living in KCMO
  14. Cute running clothes
  15. The color blue – that totally bright, really happy blue.
  16. Cupcakes
  17. Country music - Trace Adkins, Carrie Underwood, Justin Moore, Jason Aldean, Jaron & the Long Road to Love… all those good people.
  18. Four Inch Heels
  19. The Piano
  20. Scented Candles
  21. Calla Lilies
  22. Italian Food
  23. Texas Roadhouse Rolls
  24. Men who open doors
  25. Big dreams. And little dreams. Just all sorts of dreams.

I picked up a card a little while ago. There’s a quote on it and it’s how I’m determined to live. “This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.”

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Jul 27

Who Needs A Stair Machine?

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Why would you want to spend time working out inside when you could wake up and work out on these? Yeah, that’s what I thought. You wouldn’t waste your time inside either. Of course, when it’s freezing, I’ll be back at Scott Fitness where there’s no contract ever, and you can start and stop as often as you like. For now, I’m on the “stopped” phase. (And no, it’s not like I get any sort of bonus for linking to their site. I just like them.) Since I’m not at Scott Fitness, over the last few days I’ve spent a LOT of time on these stairs. Forget counting how many steps I’ve taken – that’s one area the machine definitely has the advantage. I just go by the number of songs I listen to while I run up and down the stairs. It helps if I pick fast songs. I definitely would NOT recommend climbing them to Jordin Spark’s “No Air.” (My mom loves working out to that song. I will NEVER understand that.)

My running has been sporadic over the past few months. I was blaming that on my fooorever long commute, but since moving to KC three weeks ago, I still wasn’t feeling it. For some reason, Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” as my alarm doesn’t help me vault out of bed. And if I don’t work out in the morning, it’s probably not happening. I am SO a morning person. Last week, I changed my alarm. Nickelback. Just about anything from their Dark Horse CD makes me jump out of bed. Problem solved, and I am back on the wagon. It’s a good thing too – I unpacked my scale this week. Of course, given that I’m taller than I thought, that number isn’t really as bad as it could be – I’m only six pounds off from the range that I give myself. Give me a month and I’ll be back on track. For now, I’m just extra bootylicious. That’s hardly a bad thing.

This morning I talked my roommate into going with me. Let’s call her Juarez – that’s where her family’s from, but it’s not her real name. (Roommates are almost family, but they get some level of protection. Come on, that’s only fair, right? Reece wishes he was my roommate.) We’ve actually got another roommate who will be joining us in a few short weeks and we can’t wait! Maybe we’ll rope her into early mornings too. It’s always more fun to run with someone else. Even when you’re not running “together.” (That wasn’t a problem today. Juarez is shorter than SixFour.)

Take a look at how beautiful it is out there in those early morning hours. Care to join us?

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Jun 03

My Dates Would Be A Whole Lot Cheaper

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If I didn’t spend so much time with the same three guys. Yes, three. You recognize them. Or you should. Just call them a girl’s perfect date – they open doors, love the music that plays in my car, make me laugh, and are generally up for anything. The only downside is that I tend to foot the bill. But they tend to do all the heavy lifting that I ever need. Moving twice? They were so there. Carrying loads of files? I never even have to ask. So it evens out. Plus they’re cheap – but not in that skanky sort of way, don’t worry. Cheap, like I can take them to Sonic and they are totally satisfied.

You call them Logan, Reece and Wade. At the house, we call them “Wolverine” (have you seen Logan’s chest? it’s totally like Hugh Jackman’s), “Cowboy Casanova” (cuing Carrie Underwood this instant), and “GQ Romeo” (who should need no explanation, but if you’d like one, look here).

My brothers keep me grounded. In fact, they’ve got their own nickname for me – “Average Sue Leila.” Sounds kind of weird, huh? I mean, I’d heard of an “Average Joe” before, but I’d never heard of an “Average Sue” before they came up with that genius. We were out having burgers or something, when I told them they needed to work on their manners. After all, I’m a classy lady and they were out with me. They took the opportunity to let me know that at that moment, I wasn’t a “big time city slicker lawyer” – I was just a regular “Average Joe” out with my brothers. Then they thought that “Average Joe” didn’t really fit, being that I’m a girl and all, thus “Average Sue” was born. My name was added to prevent any confusion. So if you’re looking for a big-time city slicker lawyer, don’t look for her when she’s out with these boys. You’ll be looking an awful long time.*

*This is, of course, assuming that they are not in trouble themselves, in which case, you will totally find the big-time city slicker lawyer out with them. A girl’s still got to watch out for her family, don’t you think?

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May 18

I Heart Man Night

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This past weekend my family had a man night. Yes, you read that right. My family- girls included – had a “man” night. And that might not make sense to you. “Man” night doesn’t sound like it would involve GIRLS, I know. But really, doesn’t that make it the ULTIMATE man night? Wade picked out what we’d eat, Mom made it (it’s nice having a girl along to do the cooking), and we watched a “kill movie,” otherwise known as an “action movie.” I took pictures of it all. (Sorry for the blurriness… I’m still waiting for a flash to magically appear on my iPhone. Maybe it will come out with one on the next iPhone. Which I am totally getting.)

Reece summed up our collective feelings on man night the next morning when we were cleaning up the carnage. ”I heart man night.”

Me too, Reece. Me too.

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May 15

Everyone Should Have a Romeo

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You thought we only had a Cowboy Casanova, didn’t you? Wrong! My little brother Wade (who is not really “little,” but he is 13 so I’m reserving the right to call him that) is the GQ Romeo of the Christensen household. Trust me on this. I chaperoned on his school field trip this week. “Romeo” is definitely the right name for him.

First, I think I’ve never met a 13 year old boy who’s cool enough to want his old lady sister to come help out on any field trip. Second, I’ve never met a 13 year old boy who’s cool enough to hang out with his 5th grade sister AT the same field trip. AND skate with BOTH OF THEM out on the roller skating rink. In FRONT of all his friends.

Those seventh grade girls TOTALLY swooned over him. And why not? Any smart girl knows that a man will treat his wife the same way he treats his mom and his sisters. (Well, there will be a few key differences, but don’t make me go into those here. Please.) Wade’s definitely got a few things figured out. I love him. TONS. Trust me, everyone should have a Romeo in their life. Or at least a brother like Wade.

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May 09

Let Me Count The Ways

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Okay, so I know I told you I was the baddest bad apple of the Christensen family. I lied. Yes, I am admitting it right here in print, to be googled and everything. Actually, I didn’t REALLY lie. I just didn’t explain myself fully. Or, as Logan puts it, I told you a “really good story” and just didn’t tell you if it was true or not. (Yes, he can say that with a straight face. Don’t ask me how.)

My MOM is the baddest bad apple in our house. Since she wasn’t born a Christensen, I can still claim to be the baddest bad apple of the Christensen family. (Like that argument? It’s a little flimsy for a lawyer, but I’ll argue it anyway.) We all love her. You want reasons? We’ve got them. And much like the Alisha post, this is from everyone.

  • She dances in the kitchen.
  • And in the living room.
  • And in her studio.
  • And anywhere else. What can we say? She’s got rhythm, and when she hears a good song, she can’t help but move. It’s a trait she passed on. Everyone dances at our house. Except Dad. Obviously, he was not so lucky to have Mom pass on that gene to him. It just doesn’t work that way.
  • She’s fun to sit on.  In fact, this is Reece’s favorite thing to do. I’m not positive that it’s Mom’s favorite thing, but she humors him. She even tells him he’s her favorite child. That is, of course, a lie. *I* am her favorite child.
  • She’s a rockstar. Especially after she gets her hair done. And yes, she can totally do the headbanging moves. If you’ve ever seen Alisha or Cassie, this is also a genetic trait.
  • She let us have cake on Sunday for breakfast when I was growing up. You know, so we’d look forward to Sundays. Since we couldn’t play outside or do other weekday sort of things, it was definitely a bonus. Sometimes we’d have ice cream instead of cake. And sometimes we’d have both. (And sometimes we still do that sort of thing. We love Sundays at our house.)
  • She’s an excellent painter. And she’s used us for models for a lot of her paintings. Except for Logan and Reece, who are not quite as beautiful as the rest of us. Or they just won’t hold still long enough. You be the judge.
  • She’ll stay up all night talking to us. Or she’ll stay up all night working on a project. She’s a night owl. I definitely did NOT get that gene. Samantha and Reece, on the other hand, definitely got it. Jealous.
  • She loves our Dad. Like crazy. We know, who wouldn’t?

You can see, there are all sorts of reasons that she’s the baddest bad apple. We could keep going, but we’d be at it all day. And since it’s Mother’s Day, we’re trying to spend a little bit of it with her. We love her. What more can we say?

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May 05

Life With The Christensens

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Sometimes my family surprises me. Well, “surprises” is probably not quite the right word. I know them, after all, and nothing that comes out of their mouth is that unexpected. Some days those phrases are lucky enough to turn into entire blog posts… other days, I write them down and save them for later. For example:

  • “What are those, pigs?” – Mom, the country girl. Not. We were driving past a field with a lot of GOATS in it when she asked the question. Granted, Mom was driving. But how do you get PIGS confused with GOATS?
  • “I see all the cow faces and it reminds me of Barry.” – Jessie (19), the REAL country girl, aka NOT Mom. Jessie works at a dairy (where she sees cow faces) and Barry is her boyfriend. Barry’s on a two-year mission in Fresno, California. Maybe he should be worried if Jessie’s reminded of him when she sees COWS. PS – Barry is not nickname-protected because Jessie has his real name on her own blog. Plus I don’t know what nickname we would use for him. “Jessie’s COWboy” would maybe work, given that she sees cow faces and thinks of him.
  • “You are not even CLOSE to a cow.” – Reece (16), the king of compliments. You know him as the Cowboy Casanova, but he can have more than one title. I was trying to figure out how much our cows weighed… when I said 125 (which is what I weigh) he informed me of the above “fact.” Oh – and at the time I said that, our cows weighed probably 300-350 lbs. Maybe 400 lbs.  Maybe I have a misconception about how 125 lbs looks. (And maybe Jessie should take a cue from Reece so that Barry doesn’t cry when he realizes that Jessie thinks of him when she sees cow faces.)
  • “When you turn 25, then you’ll be an antique!” – Samantha (11), commenting on my upcoming birthday in August. I wonder what that makes Dad (who hit the big 5-0 last October).  How do you get better- or older-  than “antique”?
  • “Dad, when you’re too old to remember, I’m going to sell the house and buy an RV. Then I’m going to take you all sorts of places.” – Cassie (almost 10), when talking about her “assignment” as the youngest child. That assignment? She’s taking care of them in their old age. We all voted, and she got the job. Maybe Dad should rethink that one. Unless he wants to go all sorts of places.

Can you see why I’m always laughing? Oh. Maybe you didn’t realize I’m always laughing. Trust me, it’s hard to stop with a family as fun as mine. I totally love them. And I’ve gotta admit – it’s a real relief to know that I’m nothing close to a cow, even if I’m going to be an antique soon.

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Apr 27

Reece’s Last Stand

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I totally took down Sam tonight. Okay, maybe bragging about taking down an 11 year old should be above me. “Should be” is the key phrase. We ARE almost the same height, if that makes any difference. But she’s fast – I was pretty proud of myself for catching her. We all played capture the flag tonight – Logan, Jessie, Reece, Wade, Sam, Cassie and I. It’s so nice having a family big enough to play a game like that. (And personally, I think the “little kids” are awfully lucky that they have such bad apple older siblings who are willing to play with them. “Little kids” is what we used to call Reece, Wade, Sam and Cassie. Now that Reece and Wade are both bigger than me – and the 2.0s are getting close! – it seems like it doesn’t really fit.)

Let me lay it out for you – Reece, Wade, and I versus Logan, Jessie and the 2.0s. We had a definite strategy on our team. (Of course, laying it out here might put us at a disadvantage for next time, but I’m pretty sure that they caught onto what we were doing.) Basically, I guarded OUR flag and the boys went after THEIR flag. And we captured their flag three times. It was when we varied from that strategy that we ran into problems. (It could have had something to do with the fact that Jessie wasn’t around for the first two games either, but Logan and the 2.0s should have been able to take us.)

You see, I’m not faster than Logan. Have you seen that man? What was I thinking? Of course, at the same time I was thinking that I could be faster than Logan, Wade also thought he was faster than Jessie. And most of the time Wade is. But somehow Jessie caught him. (Don’t worry Wade, I’m sure it was a fluke.)

Enter Reece’s last stand. Surprisingly enough, he lasted for quite awhile against the four of them while Wade and I watched. Finally I got up and took a few pictures – totally against the rules, but really, what were they going to do about it? He did look a little crazed by the time they were done with him. See his picture above if you don’t believe me. And see the rest of our pictures to see how much fun we all have together. (ALISHA, this is reason number 2491.)

PS – Notice that Sam and I ARE really close to the same height.

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Apr 23

I’m The Baddest Bad Apple

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We’re a tough looking bunch, aren’t we? Well let me tell you – I’m the baddest bad apple of them all. These two rough-and-ready rednecks follow MY lead. Why do you think I’m in the middle? (You might think it was so that I could look extra small – and you might be right – but work with me here.)

My brothers are some pretty bad apples themselves. Flat tire? Logan’s got it changed in five minutes. (This happened about a week ago.) Files to carry in? Reece meets me at the car when I pull in. (This is more of an everyday occurrence.) Ice water needs? Wade’s all over it. (I never even have to ask.) And no, you’re not missing Wade in this picture. He was inside working hard when we were outside (goofing off) working hard. We’ll get him to pose another time, I’m sure. If you can’t tell, the “poser” gene is alive and well in the Christensen family.

It’s so nice to be part of a family that LIKES each other. Reece said it best the other night when we were hanging out making up our own version of Nickelback songs until 11 o’clock at night. “We pretty much won the lottery when we were born. We got OUR family, we were born in America, and we’re members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” I agree. I’ve got everything I need right here. With all my bad apples.

PS – Ask Reece to sing for you sometime… he totally rocked his own version of Nickelback’s “Never Gonna Be Alone.” In all fairness though, you should really have Logan and Reece sing together. One of these days I’m going to record them when they’re not paying attention. Then I’ll blog about it – no reason to keep that all to myself!

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